Thoughts create emotions and emotions create thoughts. One feeds off and contributes to the other. You are feeling down and emotionally drained. You don’t like feeling this way and make an attempt to do something about it. You attempt to replace your negative thoughts with positive thoughts. This may not work.

When you have too much of an emotional build-up; no matter how hard you try to think positively, sometimes it will not happen and you will be even more unhappy. It wasn’t enough that you felt unhappy in the first place, you now feel unhappy because you are unhappy.

Are you generating peace or misery within yourself?

Recognise how your mind affects your body and how sensations of your body affect your mind. If you are angry with an enemy, you are the first victim. If you are jealous of someone else, you are the first victim. If you hate someone else, you are the first victim. If you seek revenge from someone else, you are the first victim. 

The more you think about revenge or hating your enemy, the more your body gets tense and the more your stomach gets tied in a knot. You cannot have negative thoughts about someone else without these same thoughts harming you.

A prisoner convicted for many years can spend a lot of time thinking about getting revenge on the police officer who arrested him, the witness who testified against him, the judge who convicted him. But during that time, he is making his life more of a misery.

You were often very surprised to see how situations sorted themselves out with time. And in time you will know what to do and can act without looking through thought. Problems do not sort themselves out by constant thinking and struggling. I am not saying that you should do nothing and allow someone to walk all over you. If you need to challenge somebody, wait until the time is right. Don’t challenge them when you are full of anger, because whatever you say in anger you will regret afterwards. Challenge them if necessary when you are still and present.

When the time is right, meet with the other person. Drop all prior thoughts of them and speak the facts. Explain the situation. Drop your thought by making your breath small, and breathing through your nose. Focus on your breath. Rather than trying to change your emotions and thoughts during these situations, accept them and carry on trying your best.